It's Never Lupus
by dcstarsearcher
Summary: She never thought she'd see him again, certainly never intended to...
1. Can't Say 'No'

**Ok, first-timer here! Be patient with me haha. Ok, background. This takes place sometime in season two, haven't really pegged an episode to follow yet. Gotta wait to see what spoilers I need ;p Can't give to much away, at least not yet, but I'll tell you this: it's Cameron-centric, and it involves a character in her life that we know very little about. It also contains an intriguing medical mystery involving said character. Just... read it. I think you'll like it. It has canon HouseCam elements!**

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The air was filled with sounds of all the sorts you might expect to hear such a public setting. The murmur of low voices, the occasional PA announcement, a rhythmic clacking sound that grew intensity with each passing moment...

"Dr. House!" The call rang out, a single voice rising above the chorus of noise that made up mornings at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. The clacking broke pattern, becoming more eccentric as the man in question winced and hobbled faster forward. His destination: the elevator. His intent was to get upstairs, grab a cup coffee, and lock himself away in his office, where he would spend the rest of his day playing his Gameboy and watching TV. No Dean of Medicine was going to stand between him and his plans. Almost there...

She materialized seemingly out of nowhere, effectively blocking his outstretched hand from connecting with the elevator call button. Damn, so close.

Immediately the man's demeanor changed, brightened. "Why, Dr. Cuddy! So nice to see you this morning. I was just on my way to your office." The forcefully pleasant expression was painful to wear. He dropped it at the snort of his colleague/boss.

"Uh huh. Thought I'd save you the trip. I hate to see you do so much unnecessary walking, what with your leg and all." Now it was Cuddy's turn to smile at the scowl that appeared on her best doctor's face. "Besides, the clinic's this way. You're on duty."

She brushed past him, confident that he would follow. He didn't disappoint her; he rarely did.

House struggled to keep up with the formidable pace she was setting, instantly concocting his newest tale as to why he should be exempted from duty today "See, here's the thing. I woke up this morning, and wouldn't you know it, the power in my building was out. Which meant no shower. And then some kid sneezed on me on the bus, because of course my bike wouldn't start this morning. I have the worst luck like that." He attempted to sound sincere. "So, combine the unhygienic conditions I was forced to endure with the potentially deadly virus I was exposed to from the expulsion of a sick child's nasal cavity... well, there's no way I can do clinic duty this week! With all those poor patients' compromised immune systems, I could start an epidemic." He prepared to drive it home as they ground to a halt just outside the clinic doors. "You wouldn't want to be responsible for that, would you?" The pleading, desperate tone of his voice almost convinced her that the narcissus bastard actually cared about another person's well-being. Almost.

"Exam room 4." She slapped a handful of files in the hand he had raised in a shrug of mock helplessness. " If you're worried, wear a mask." She shot him a warning glare, as she got ready to return to the business of running the hospital. "You had better not clock out of here until those patients are seen."

He sighed in resignation. "Yes, Mommy." Meanwhile, his hand reached down to fiddle in his pocket.

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"You know, you could help me with this." The statement was accompanied by an impatient foot-tapping that the diagnostician found incredibly annoying. He glanced up irritably from his magazine. Cameron didn't flinch.

"You know, if I knew you were going to give me this much trouble, I would have paged Chase instead," House drawled.

"I wish you had!" The frustration was evident in her tone.

"Nah, he probably would have just flat-out refused." He smirked as her eyes narrowed.

"And why am I doing this for you?"

"Because my amazing intuitive skills of diagnosis would be totally wasted dealing with wanna-be doctors with Google." The contempt in his voice was totally undisguised.

Cameron wasn't satisfied. "Still not seeing a good reason."

"Because I asked you to." He batted his eyelashes. "Pwease?"

She sighed, but turned to leave the storage closet House had holed himself up in. She was nearly half done with the considerable stack of files, anyways. She mentally kicked herself for being unable to tell her boss 'no'. She had a terrible feeling that one day it was going to get her in trouble.

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House emerged from his hiding place wearily, scoping out the scene to ensure that no one was around before hurriedly making his way to the bathroom. Idly he wondered how many more patients his sole female duckling had left to 'cure' before he could go upstairs to his comfortable chair in his office. The amount of Vicodin he was taking to bear the cramped position in the closet was staggering, even to him. Maybe he should check on her, coax her to speed things up a bit.

"Allie!" The voice startled him out of his reverie.

Normally he would have paid it no further notice, but his interest was piqued at a curious sight. Making her way towards stairwell, and in great haste at that, was his youngest doctor. Sticking his head from behind an exam room door was the man House assumed to be the originator of the shout.

He watched as Cameron effected her escape, frowning perplexedly. Where was she going? And more importantly, why? He made his way towards the mystery man, deciding it was worth it to examine a patient who was capable of provoking such a reaction from one of his fellows. After all, House loved puzzles.

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**Ugh, it sounded soooo much better in my head. In type I sound almost... paradiocal. It's supposed to be a serious canon episode of the show haha. Oh, well, I'll fix it later. Tell me what you think, if you feel so inclined. More medicine next chapter, I promise!**


	2. History

**O-kay... chapter 2 has been posted, I guess. Not completely happy, but then again, I never am lol. You guys are the judges anyways. And great ones at that! Thank you so much for the reviews!! Hearing positive feed back on something I consider to be far from my best work is encouraging haha.  
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**Oh, and I rewrote the HouseCam scene in chappie one. Just added some stuff, really, but I think it cleared some stuff up, as well as made her more Cameron-y. You might want to go and reread if you're a reurning reader;)**

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The conference room door banged loudly, startling the doctors inside. One never does get used to the sound of wood on glass.

"New case." The gruff voice was accompanied by the sound of a file connecting to the table. Now that was familiar.

Foreman retrieved the folder from its oh-so-temporary resting place and began to thumb through it. "Middle-age white male, presents with chronic heartburn, constipation, and fatigue." He raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Are you serious?"

"Nah, you got me. Happy October Fools day!' The singsong quality of his voice effected the customary eye roll from the neurologist

"But, why?" Chase put down the crossword he was working on to ask curiously.

"Because I may as well save some poor guy's life. I mean, the alternative is to pay you guys to sit on your asses." He was already writing down symptoms on the whiteboard. "Besides, it looks like it could be an interesting case."

"House, this isn't even a case! Every one of those 'symptoms' is characteristic of the guy getting older." Foreman allowed the annoyance to color his tone. "And since when do you object to doing nothing?"

"Every one of those symptoms could also be a sign of a serious medical condition. And I don't object to me doing nothing, just you guys. And girls." House turned to assess them. "Or not. Where's Cameron?"

"You seriously didn't notice she wasn't here?" The Australian was shocked.

"Sorry. Little distracted about the dying guy in our care. Where's Cameron?"

"He's not dying! He has acid reflux!!" No more coloring; this was full-on frustration. "And shecame up and said that she's taking the day off, since we don't have a patient."

"Well, call her back, tell her to get her butt down here. We've got one." With that, he turned to leave the room.

"Where are you going?" Chase had already pulled out his phone.

House shot him a look that mede it clear that the answer should be obvious. "I'm going to take a patient history."

"Why didn't you get one before?" The question went unheard; he was gone.

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"Where's House?" The question was asked by one Dr James Wilson.

"He's doing a history," Foreman replied, almost disbelievingly.

Wilson's expression mirrored that of his friend's employee. " He actually chose to talk to a patient himself? For something as mundane as a family history?!"

Foreman never answered; instead, he diverted his attention to the entrance of the third member of their team, Allison Cameron.

The look on her face held them all speechless momentarily. Eyes, still swollen from crying, held a murderous glint that wouldn't have been out of place on someone of considerably larger size. Her mouth formed a scowl, an unfamiliar position for lips so used to smiling. If one combined her expression with the tightly clenched fists and the stiff, dangerous posture she had adopted, one could easily forget that the tiny pacifist of a doctor was head over heels for her ass of a boss. She looked ready to kill him. Or somebody, anyways.

"Where. Is. He?" Each word was punctuated with a ragged breath, evidence of Cameron's struggle to get control of her emotions. It didn't seem to be working.

"He's examining our new patient," Chase answered timidly. Cameron whirled to face him.

"What patient?!"

The click of Chase's jaw snapping shut was painfully loud; apparently he deemed it safer to let someone else become the target of his one-time lover's wrath.

Foreman snorted, his indignation overpowering his good sense. "The one that he took annoy us, apparently. I mean, those aren't even real problems!" He gestured to the whiteboard to emphasize his point.

She spun to face it. "Bastard." The words slipped painfully through her gritted teeth.

The three men stood in silence at the sight their colleague made. She stood shaking, in rage and... something else... as she coontinued to stare at the written symptoms, and at the name scrawled boldly across the top.

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**Next chapter, I promise! I just had to throw in the cliffie haha. Although someof you hard-core peeps might have guessed the identity of our mystery man already. Maybe. Take a guess ;p**


	3. Meet Joe Bentley

**Yay! Cookies for Danielle !! Yeah, I thought it wholly unfair that the writers chose not to explore this storyline at all; they had a perfect lead-in, and I for one feel that Cameron needs to have here past revealed at least somewhat.**

**As for Limaccia****: thank you. I agree that its totally annoying when people assume that television is always what it seems to be, especially in relation to actor ages. I try hard not to do this myself, but... sometimes I'm guilty lol. I appreciate your review ;) I am going to leave it, though, for a couple of reasons. One is that I believe it is totally possible for her to be around thirty-ish (I did research on the time in relation to training), especially considering the naivety that bespeaks of primarily scholarly training. The other is this: Since it never specifies, I can't be off-canon to assume this fact for the purpose of this story. Although I had forgotten that comment of Chase's. Either way, I'm gonna use it.**

**As for the rest of you peeps... thank you. You guys inspire me to write better, as well as faster haha. Alrighty, chapter three- **

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"Why are you staring at me?" The tone was irritable. And why wouldn't it be? He had asked several times already! The man who was supposed to be his doctor had yet to answer.

Until now. "How do you know Cameron?" House had taken down the boring stuff. Now it was time to have some fun.

The man didn't react, though. "Who?" He seemed truly confused.

"Cameron. Miss Sunshine. All ways optimistic, hopelessly naive, thinks the world is a wonderful place to live Cameron." Nothing. "You might know her as _Allie_." His pitch and imitation was flawless. It brought immediate results.

"I... I... I was a friend of hers. A friend of Derek's." The words were hardly a whisper.

"Was? Past tense?" The idea intrigued House. Cameron had lost a friend?

"After Derek died, she couldn't deal with it. She left. Moved away, disconnected her phone." He paused to swallow before continuing. "And apparently, changed her name." The knowledge seemed to amaze him. House smiled smugly to himself. So, he wasn't the only one who couldn't unravel the mystery that was Allison Cameron.

"Did it occur to you that she just didn't like you-" House consulted the file in his hand, "Joseph Bentley?"

"It's Joe," the man snapped, seemingly going from contrite to outraged at the accusation, "and of course it did. I spent weeks trying to figure out what I did wrong, why I deserved to lose her. If it had been anyone else... but not Allie Penny. Cameron." Joe corrected himself reluctantly.

"So she took her dying husband's last name, only to discard it, huh?" House knew that the immunologist had been born a Morse. He was required to do background searches, after all. He had always assumed that the change had been a Samaritan gesture for the betrothed she had lost. Half right, anyways.

"Hey man, don't talk about things you don't understand. Allison's not cold. She must have had a damn good reason for doing what she did." He drew a shaky breath. "Even if I don't know what it is."

He seemed so genuinely lost, confused and hurt that House almost felt sorry for him. He was familiar with the struggle: the anger at what could be considered to be a highly inconsiderate move by someone who was supposed to be there for you, yet the desire to rationalize the reasoning of the woman you love. Because though he had never said it, House was certain that the man who had introduced himself as a friend was a pining lover.

He was saved from the painful decision of actually being nice to a patient or being himself when Joe sighed. "Enough. Why did you admit me into this hospital? What've I got?"

House grinned mischievously. "We don't know yet, but we'll find it." He quickly left the room, his cane making its characteristic tapping sound that Joe instinctively knew that he was going to hate.

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House was intercepted on his back to the conference room when an arm snaked out and grasped his arm. Startled, he found himself being pulled into his best- ok, his only- friend's office. House was all prepared to make a particularly snarky comment, but the look on the oncologist's face was frightening, even to him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" The words were somewhere between a snarl and a growl. " Do you have any idea who that guy is?!"

The question broke the spell. House smirked, even as he shook off the grip on his bicep. "Just to be safe. "Sure I do. He's my new patient."

"Who is perfectly healthy according to Foreman," Wilson snapped.

House snorted. "Foreman thinks all of our patients are healthy to start with. What makes you think he's right this time?"

"The fact that Cameron said you witnessed her run out of clinic when she saw the guy. Don't play games with me. The only reason you forced his admittance is to mess with her head." He was extremely angry, House observed. Interesting.

He feigned innocence. "Why would I be hanging around clinic to see that? And what makes you think that I'd take on extra work to get a rise out of her?"

Wilson rolled his eyes in disgust. "That is definitely the only reason you'd work without the threat of Cuddy." He lowered his voice. "Stop it, House. You don't know the story between those two, and you don't need to. Now, I sent Cameron home again. If you don't have a legitimate reason for keeping Joe around, do the same with him. And don't even think about trying to force a reunion. I'm warning you, she will quit."

House waved dismissively and left Wilson's office in favor for his own. He wasn't about to get rid of his man; there were too many possibilities. He supposed he could leave Cameron alone though, for now at least.

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House casually tossed the much- heavier file onto the glass table again, and stood twirling his cane as his two remaining duckling dutifully flipped through it.

"I think this is going to be a tough one. No family history of heartburn in here," Foreman said sarcastically.

"More importantly, no history of any major illnesses. No cancers, autoimmune, Alzheimer's or even diabetes on either side for three generations back." Chase sounded impressed. "This family's the picture of health."

House tried to balance his cane on his forefinger as he spoke. "I know. His record's perfect. Which in itself is a symptom."

"Being healthy is a symptom of disease? What kind of logic is that?!" Foreman was practically sputtering.

"No, it's a symptom of iatrophobia." He rolled his eyes at the incredulous looks on his employees' faces. "A fear of doctors. And it's the logical kind."

"I know what iatrophobia is! But it's ridiculous to assume that a clean history is an immediate diagnosis it!!"

"Do you know what the probability of that many relatives dying of old age is? Nonexistent. Seriously. Therefore, we can logically assume that the token illnesses had to have gone undiagnosed. And the only reason for that many doctors to miss that many major ailments is that the people that harbored them never went in. Ergo, a phobia." His voice implied his inability to comprehend the perceived irrationality of the theory. "So yes, this case is gonna be difficult, since we have no leads and no previous problems."

"I know. Trying to convince you that the man is fine will be borderline impossible." Foreman had taken on a tone that hinged on defeat.

"Exactly. So quit trying. Or better yet, prove it. Get me a tox screen, blood panel, yada-yada-yada." He flipped the cane in the air a final time and caught it deftly. "Oh, and a gastrointestinal endoscopy."

Foreman looked like he was about to protest anew, but shut his mouth at a small headshake from his blonde companion.

Silently they trooped out to follow the 'unnecessary' orders.

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Cameron couldn't believe him. Seriously. Couldn't. Believe him. Even after all the experience she had had with the man, she had never dreamed House capable of this. _House is right. I'm naive. _She had to smile at the irony.

Her conscience nagged at her, telling her that he couldn't have known the past; the part that loved him tried to convince her that maybe he really was sick, and that's why House had taken the case. But she was beyond pacification. The sight of Joe sitting there had provoked the resurrection of memories she was trying to keep buried, and seeing his name on their whiteboard had thrown her over the edge. The idea of spending time around him, diagnosing a nonexistent illness, nearly made her faint. She shuddered.

_Why? Why would he do this to me? _Against her will, her mind repeated the question, forming a mantra that made it impossible to relax. She deserved to relax, didn't she? It was her first day off since... since her father's funeral. A long time.

In all actuality, she had long been expecting her 'vacation' to be cut short. When Wilson had suggested that she go home, she hadn't hesitated; she wouldn't have trusted herself to be around when House returned from his game. But she had resigned herself to the fact that she would be getting a phone call soon afterwards, demanding her presence and taunting her with childish nicknames. _Good old Jimmy. He must have convinced the bastard t__o leave me alone, at least for today._ She felt a ted bit better. At least she had one friend.

Pouring herself another glass of wine, she began to think in terms of a game plan for the week to come.

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**So? Is it any good? You guys are gonna have to tell me; I'm notorious for never being satisfied with my own work. This fic is particularly challenging for a couple of reasons- one, because while my medical knowledge is adequate for my purposes, a lot of research goes into making sure the details are just right. And two, because I am a major HouseCam shipper. However, I am an even bigger believer in canon. This seriously limits freedom in writing fluff. So don't expect a whole lot of it. I know, darn.**

**Anyways, the point is that a ton of work and thought is going into this, and reviews certainly help to keep me motivated. I can't offer any type of food delicacy, but you will receive my gratitude, a return of the favor, and quite possibly a dedication. Praise, corrections, even flames if I mess up badly... they are all appreciated. Thank you in advance!**

**Jen**


	4. Basically a Highway

**I'm ba-ack! Ok, I hardly left. Believe it or not, weekends are actually busier for me than weeknights. Hence the short hiatus. But I did miss you guys, my wonderful readers and reviewers. Give me a sec... wipes a glistening tear from mine eye... gotcha. Anywho, on with chapter 4. Medicinal alert!**

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"Alright Joe, now I'm gonna need you to relax for this procedure," Foreman said gently. However angry he was with House, he wasn't about to take it out on the patient. That would be just wrong.

"What is it?" Joe was impatient to be released, and even more impatient to ask about Allison. The two doctors were evasive though, rebuffing all of his subtle hints and inquiries up until this point.

"We're going to do an upper gastrointestinal endoscopy. We need to get a look at your digestive tract. This tube," he held it up to emphasize his words, "will extend through your mouth, from your esophagus down to your stomach and into the upper portion of your small intestine. It'll hopefully allow us diagnose you." And he gave Joe an encouraging smile.

Chase, who had been adjusting the monitor in preparation for the camera, held up a spray bottle. "Ok, go ahead and open up, like this," and he demonstrated," so I can spray this into your throat. It's a anesthetic spray, to numb the gag reflex and prevent any discomfort during the procedure." Joe obediently opened, and Chase gave him a couple of squirts.

"Good. Now we'll have you lie on your left side and bite down on this mouthguard. Perfect. I'm going to begin inserting the scope now, all right? And, swallow..." Foreman's eyes were trained on the screen, checking for anything unusual as he carefully guided the flexible tube along it's predestined path. Likewise, Chase was searching for proof- or disproof- of the gastrointestinal disease that House seemed to think the man was harboring. The one that was apparently excellent at the game of hide-and-seek.

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"Well, it's just as you suspected-" Foreman began, only to be interrupted by an enthusiastic whoop.

"Yes! I knew if I did enough UGI's that I'd hit upon an American male fostering an alien child in his colon!! I'm gonna win the Nobel for this one for sure."

Both doctors rolled their eyes at this... Housian crack of humor. "What I meant was, it's just as WE suspected. The guy's clean. No ulcers, bleeding, or fibrosis. Nothing of any concern."

"Which is a concern in itself. The man has massive chronic heartburn. Something's causing it." House snatched the file that Chase had extended toward him. "Did you do the blood tests?"

"Yep, and the tox and the urine analysis AND the kidney and liver function tests." He shrugged at the look of surprise his boss shot him. " You'd have sent us back to do them, anyways. Not that it was helpful; everything is perfectly normal. His LES is dilated a bit, but that's to be expected."

House nodded almost imperceivibly as he absorbed the new information. Making his way to the whiteboard, he added DILATED LES to the symptoms. Then he faced his underlings once more. "OK, differential diagnosis. What do we have to explain these symptoms? C'mon, throw 'em out there."

Silence.

"Damn. I'd hate to have to go through the whole interviewing/hiring process again just to find a couple of fellows who aren't dumb and mute. And I thought I had you trained..." House shook his head sadly.

Foreman spoke first. "Worst case scenario, he has GERD. Give him cimetidine and some advice for changes in eating habits. We're wasting our time."

"Boring. And does nothing for the rest of the symptoms. Anything else?" And he looked at Chase expectantly.

"Um... Hirschsprung's?" he suggested timidly.

"Yeah, I can see how that would go undiagnosed for this long. You don't think the guy would notice not being able to poop for thirty-five years?" Foreman sneered in a very House-like manner. Chase looked like he wanted to sink beneath the floorboards. He perked up again at House's musings, though.

"The Brit could be right, for once." Foreman gaped. "Not about the Hirschsprung's. How idiotic. But he could be on the right track about the order of effects. Constipation causes the heartburn. It fits." He sighed patiently and began to explain. "Look, the digestive tract is basically a highway. As long as everybody goes the speed limit, things run smoothly, and everyone makes great time. But if you've got something blocking the road in Miami, well, people in Orlando feel it. In the form of reflux."

"So, what, we do an incredibly painful procedure like a colonoscopy to affirm a hunch based on one of your famous comparisons?" Foreman was indignant.

House gave a genuine smile at that. "I _have_ got you trained. Now go stick a tube in the man's ass. And get me a-"

He caught his words as someone strode purposefully into the room. Cameron.

"Overdosing of calcium supplements could cause both heartburn and constipation." She sat down without any form of greeting, or any explanation for her presence. She also ignored the smirk on her boss's face, and Chase's attempts at eye contact. She was here to do her job, not reveal her personal life to her colleagues. This wasn't a soap.

Foreman retrieved file from where House had carelessly thrown it- on the coffee cabinet- and consulted it. "Tests show normal levels of calcium and phosphates. So it can't be-"

"Excess calcium would clear out within twelve hours. If he hasn't taken any since this morning, it wouldn't show. Did you ask him about supplements?" She looked pointedly at a silent House.

"Fine," he grumbled, "find out what he takes, then do the colonoscopy. Not you." He grasped Cameron's arm as she tried to follow the others. "I've got another assignment for you. For us."

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The drive was long, and quiet. Neither driver nor passenger spoke, each reflecting upon his or her own thoughts.

They had taken Cameron's car; House had been serious about the motorcycle not working, and he didn't think Wilson would take to kindly to having his car hijacked for a jaunt into the countryside. Still, House had insisted upon driving, and Cameron was too mentally exhausted to resist.

Somewhere in the course of the afternoon, she had realized that relaxing was an unattainable illusion; her ghosts found her at every attempt, and badgered her for attention. She knew the only solution, the only one that had ever worked for her, was to bury herself in her work, before she suffocated in her leisure. Even if the work would bring her in contact with the man she most wished to avoid.

Forcing herself to take in her surroundings, she wondered idly where they were going. Nothing looked familiar; in fact, it didn't even look like Jersey. She felt a twinge of annoyance. Where the hell was House taking her.

It never occurred to her to be afraid. However annoying, sarcastic and rude the man was, she didn't think he was capable of actual harm.

She was wrong.

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**That was fun to write. I finally got to flex a couple of medical knowledge muscles haha. IF I have made a serious error of some sort, please let me know. As always, reviews are appreciated. **

**Oh, and for all you faithfuls out there...it's going to be revealed next chapter anyways, but if you want a sneak peak at the deal Cameron has with Joe, check out the oneshot I threw up. I couldn't resist. Working title is "Lies", but I'm seeking a better one. Suggestions, anybody?**

**Jen**


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